Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time there was a Princess. OK she wasn't actually real Royalty, but her dad and her Uncles treated her like a Princess. Unfortunately, this did not prepare the Princess for the Real World. Those who coddled and spoiled her meant well, they really did love her.
The Princess met a Toad, She believed all the Fairy Tales that told her if she kissed the Toad and loved the Toad enough, he would become a Prince. This was her first realization of "The Big Lies" and it broke her heart. The Toad remained a Toad.
The Princess traveled from Kingdom to Kingdom, searching for her Prince. She was a kind, loving and trusting Princess, which made her Prey for every Silver Tongued Devil who wanted her Beauty but not her.
The Princess soon began to question, "Am I become a Slut or a Sap?".
Finally, the Princess made a Friend, and this Friend, although not a Prince, did want her and Married her. It was a Wonderful Marriage at first. They shared dreams of growing old together.
But then, things changed. After many years, the Husband/Friend seemed to grow tired of The Princess and the Princess suffered many disappointments. It became clear that the Husband/Friend was pushing the Princess away.
Sadly, she left the Husband, her dreams dashed.
The ending of this story is actually the beginning of a new Story for The Princess. She is learning, finally, who she really is. She is learning to love herself. Not in a narcissistic way, rather The Princess is finding her own voice, her own Path, not a voice and path imposed upon her.
She still yearns for her True Prince, Incurable Romantic that she is. But in the meantime, the Adventure of her New Life, her Own life, is giving her fulfillment, Hope and Happiness.

MaryAlice

FWD: Police Humor

GOOD:
A Tonawanda, NY policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem -- a 12-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read "RADAR TRAP AHEAD." The officer also found that the boy had an accomplice who was a bit further down the road with a sign reading "TIPS" and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!)

BETTER:
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in Kenmore , NY. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded by mailing a photo of handcuffs.

BEST:
A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As New York State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Troopers Ball."

He replied, "New York State Troopers don't have balls."

There was a moment of silence. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left.

MaryAlice

FWD: A True Friend

A TRUE FRIEND

Are you sick of all those sissy "friendship" poems
that always sound like Hallmark cards, and never come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that really speak to true friendship:

1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and
plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile - I will know you've finally had sex.

4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and tell you to quit
whining.

6. When you are confused - I will use little words.

7. When you are sick - stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath...I pledge it till the end. Why, you ask?
Because you are my friend.

Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if
I ever need to bring a shovel.

MaryAlice

My Dream Last Night

I was in a HUGE house, of Modern Architecture, but not cold and sterile like most 20th Century and 21 Century Modern Design.
There where very large rooms, lots of glass and wood, there where vases of flowers, there where lovely mirrors, lots of mirrors.
I recognized this huge house. It was in a dream, I saw it and walked thru it in a dream some time ago. Don't ask how long ago, I have zero concept of the passage of time. The "Zen Eternal Now". But I digress.
My brother and his wife had bought the house and had fixed up beautifully.
There was an indoor ice skating rink, a very large Ball Room, a "Rumpus Room" like the 1950's with comfy chairs, billiards table, end tables, Darts Board.
There was even a lovely "Smoking Room", with special fans and such, located at a corner so this room was almost all windows and warm wood, warm brass and copper.
I was looking out one of the windows and realized the House was built near the sea shore. There was a special, again very large, room to enter and exit on the beach side. This room had showers and big, plush, soft towels.
As I gazed out to the Sea, I saw a HUGE I mean 100 foot high Wave, coming right towards the beach, and of course, this house.
Everyone gathered at that window to watch. My brother told me, don't be afraid, the house was specially redesigned and built, even the glass was better than bullet proof.
As this huge wave from the Sea got closer and closer, I was no longer afraid. I saw the beautiful blues and pale greens and even pinks and whites of this Wave.
As it washed over the house, we all could not suppress "oooo's" and "ahhhhhh's"! It was beautiful. The house, with us in it, was completely underwater and the view out the windows was beautiful.
As it passed, and the wave current with drew to the Sea the Beach was just fine, nothing was washed away and no debris was washed up onto the Beach!
Then it was meal time. I realized then that this Huge House, owned by my brother and his wife, was fully staffed, like a Hotel.
As we sat down to dinner, me, lots of other family and friends, Wait Staff bringing the food, more of these Huge Waves washed over the house. It was beautiful.

I suppose I could try to analyze this dream, but I don't want to.
MaryAlice

It's My Turn

I got this in the email from a good friend :)

When I'm an old lady, I'll live with each kid,

And bring so much happiness...just as they did.

I want to pay back all the joy they've provided.

Returning each deed! Oh, they'll be so excited!

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)


I'll write on the wall with reds, whites and blues,

And I'll bounce on the furniture...wearing my shoes.

I'll drink from the carton and then leave it out.

I'll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they'll shout!

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)


When they're on the phone and just out of reach,

I'll get into things like sugar and bleach.

Oh, they'll snap their fingers and then shake their head,

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)


When they cook dinner and call me to eat,

I'll not eat my green beans or salad or meat,

I'll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table,

And when they get angry...I'll run...if I'm able!

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

I'll sit close to the TV, through the channels I'll click,

I'll cross both eyes just to see if they stick.

I'll take off my socks and throw one away,

And play in the mud 'til the end of the day!

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)


And later in bed, I'll lay back and sigh,

I'll thank God in prayer and then close my eyes.

My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping,

And say with a groan, "She's so sweet when she's sleeping!"

God Bless All Moms and Grandmas Everywhere!

I hope this brings a smile

MaryAlice